


Kindness

by Davechicken



Series: Kylux - Fluff & Angst [155]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-31
Updated: 2017-01-31
Packaged: 2018-09-21 01:18:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9525095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Davechicken/pseuds/Davechicken
Summary: Hux is not kind enough.





	

It’s not fair how someone as kind as Kylo could be as broken as he is, Hux thinks, though the thought is close to treason and he hopes no one can hear. 

Kylo is kind in ways that would never occur to Hux, and he does them just for the sake of Hux’s pleasure. He doesn’t think: ‘if I get Hux this gift, then he will give me oral sex’, oh no. He thinks: ‘Hux would love this, and I like to see Hux happy’.

Hux isn’t sure he’s ever been on anyone’s radar, let alone their priority. He’s never had someone get him things just to make him happy. He’s never had someone comm him messages to let him know he’s being thought about. He’s never had someone offer him the best bit of a slice of cake, or lay out his clothes for him, or comfort him when he’s sick.

In some ways, Hux hates him for it, which just goes to show he’s not good enough for Kylo. He hates these niceties because they show up his inadequacy as a lover and life-mate in comparison.

It’s not in any way that he’s cruel, or mean, he’s just thoughtless. He doesn’t have that same voice inside of him telling him to do nice things, and he has to work at it. He sees a gift offered, and is ashamed he didn’t buy one too.

 _I don’t need anything_ , Kylo will tell him. _I have you_.

But Hux won’t ever think it’s fair; Kylo should have someone with the same amount of boundless _giving_ inside of them, not someone who is so broken and malformed as him. 

Wrapped in all that black, for so very, very long; every argument a cry for help, a plea for attention. Hux agrees with the First Order’s goals, he does. He also agrees that it’s quicker to instil the ideas directly, and he has no problem with his trooper program, but what Kylo’s been through…

He doesn’t know the full details, because he would never ask. He knows in the vaguest sense, and he doesn’t like to think too deeply in case he starts applying the same distaste to his own methods.

But Kylo…

His lover’s lashes catch the dim reading light they leave on, in case of a bad dream. His face is peaceful at the moment, but it won’t always remain that way. He’ll float on the treacherous currents of his own emotional tides, and sometimes they will buoy him up, and other times leave him wracked below. 

Hux would give almost anything to keep him from those lows, but he doesn’t know of any way he can. Instead, he curls into his embrace, and kisses his temple. He’ll just have to try to be a better man, the kind Kylo deserves.

Maybe he could put a reminder in his schedule. _Do something for Kylo_. Is it still affection if it’s scheduled? Is it still a kindness if it’s planned?

Hux hopes so. It’s how his mind works, and Kylo always says he loves _him_ , so perhaps it will suffice.


End file.
